How To Deal With A Complainer

How To Deal With A Complainer

A Complainer Is Characterized by:

1. Dissatisfaction in their personal life
2. Anger
3. A desire to have their concerns acknowledged
4. Makes demands
5. Wants explanations
6. Makes threats or bluffs
7. Frustration

Description

Complainers have a gripe about everything in their life. This usually comes from the underlying fact that they are unsatisfied or disgruntled about their own personal lives. The complainer has a need for their concerns to be acknowledged. Whether it is in their professional or personal life, the complainer can't have peace of mind until someone listens to and acknowledges their concerns. They feel dissatisfied and they don't just want things to change-they want to be heard and understood.

How to Deal With the Complainer

The key to effectively dealing with a complainer is by using your active listening skills. They want to be heard and acknowledged-not ignored or argued with. You have to use your skills of empathy and try to understand what their interests and needs are.

1. Listen to their concerns. It's not enough sometimes just to fix the problem. The person has a psychological need for someone to acknowledge their concerns. Let them get all of those pent up frustrations out of their system before you address the problem. Listen and acknowledge what they have to say. Encourage them to keep on talking until all those frustrations have been let out.

2. Empathize with them. Imagine yourself walking around in their shoes and see the situation from their perspective. Empathy is an important tool that you can use to facilitate cooperation. Let them know that you understand their situation and make them feel comfortable and important. Use empathetic statements such as, "If I were in your shoes, I'd be really angry too." Paraphrase their concerns back to them. Repeat their concerns back to them in your own words. This lets them know that you have been listening and it allows you to confirm that you have heard and understood everything correctly. Paraphrasing is also a powerful rapport-building tool.

3. Ask them what they would like you to do. In most cases, you will already know what the person wants, but ask them what they would like you to do anyways because it lets them walk away happy by giving them the amount of control they desire.

About The Author

Tristan Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit his website at http://www.streetnegotiation.com or e-mail him directly at tristan@streetnegotiation.com

In The News:

---

Sydney Morning Herald
With IC-814 in memory, India didn’t talk to terrorists
Moneycontrol.com, India - 5 hours ago
“In future incidents, the terrorists know they can succeed by negotiation.” The 1999 negotiation response may have also inspired subsequent terrorism ...
Six bodies of Mumbai attacks victims to be flown to Israel Monsters and Critics.com
all 1,041 news articles

Negotiating skills for IT consultants
TechRepublic, KY - 1 hour ago
Have you ever won over a potential client with a perfect presentation but lost them at the negotiation table? Rick Freedman describes what can go wrong and ...

New York Times
Assemblyman slams Yankee Stadium deal
Lower Hudson Journal news, NY - 8 hours ago
"This negotiation was taking place at a time when the Yankees were dramatically raising ticket prices, while the state and the city were giving essentially ...
City demanded free suite, food from Yankees, e-mails reveal New York Daily News
Yankee Suite for Mayor's Office? 1010 Wins
all 13 news articles

Athletic Business
The Powerful Negotiator
Athletic Business - 10 hours ago
"Negotiation is a crucially important skill for athletic directors," says Dave Mullins, director of athletics at East Tennessee State University. ...

Getting the Best Salary Offer Possible
T+D, VA - 1 hour ago
Know your value, and have your own goals for the negotiation clearly in mind. Go into negotiation knowing your bottom-line requirements, ...

Zimbabwe Times
Negotiation time is over, Mugabe must now be removed
The Zimbabwean, Africa - 10 hours ago
Former US President Jimmy Carter, when he was barred from stepping in Zimbabwe by President Robert Mugabe, wittingly responded: "I think it's the ...
Women would have found solution by now Zimbabwe Times
all 31 news articles

Social and political issues in salary settlements
Jamaica Observer, Jamaica - 11 hours ago
There are always significant issues in salary negotiations and settlements. This is true for both sides sitting around the negotiation table. ...

ABC News
Apple's negotiation with Beatles put on hold
MacNN, CA - Nov 25, 2008
Paul McCartney has said that the negotiations to bring the Beatles' music onto iTunes have encountered problems, according to the Associated Press. ...
Paul McCartney: Negotiation stalled between Beatles, iTunes AZ Central.com
Beatles on iTunes: negotiations stall Q4Music
all 629 news articles

Hossa a Holland Favourite to Stay
Rotoworld.com - Nov 30, 2008
Hossa, Franzen, and Zetterberg's contracts are up for negotiation after this season and Detroit can't keep them all. Sources claim GM Ken Holland wants to ...

How to negotiate for the best bargains and pay for less
Business Daily Africa, Kenya - 21 hours ago
Anything was up for negotiation, unless of course it was somewhere like in the supermarket. But even then, I wondered if the prices had been up for ...

negotiation - Google News